It is with great regret that I find myself in the position of monitoring the next couple of month’s of my life as an unemployed person. Up until last friday I was in a job…a secure job….not a job for life but one that was fairly reliable, I stupidly thought, due to my length of service!!
Well, not so, my friends, not so! As I walked with my boss in silence through the factory floor to be given the inevitable news….my heart thumped…my face flushed..people were watching me on my long walk of shame. They knew I was for the chop. Keep your head down…maybe they won’t notice you…you might slip by unnoticed. Hands shaking now….a kind of blurred vision…this couldn’t be happening to little old me…sure I’ve been here years…I’m the top dog as some had told me “You’ll be here for life…your the top dog!!”
Into the office with my boss to face the manager with those cliched comments that we hate to hear, “Due to a downturn in the business”…”It’s not personal, you know”…”It cant be helped, you know”.
I never like the 2 of them anyway…not because of their current actions but we just didn’t click as people. These people were joined by some invisible cord to the company. They had to feed the company or else they would die along with it. Any waste they discarded was for the good of the factory…it would make it stronger…healthier over time…more nutrients and food could be used when needed!
They really didn’t care how I felt about losing my job. I felt it in there handshakes and pithy frown’s as I left there offices. I didn’t expect any pithy…it’s my life after all…I came into this world with nothing and I’ll leave the same bloody way!
I have put up with a lot of curve balls over the years…sure I’m only just recovering from a broken knee for God’s sake. Now this!! What am I going to do with the next few years of my life? How am to support my family in the future? Iv’e been in a cocoon for so many years in a job that I never really enjoyed. “It’s probably for the best”…but where is my life to lead me?
One thing I know is that the road will be damned long and bumpy. There is sweet FA out there….but I need to find something for me …for my family …for the world that needs me…for my sanity …for a few bob in the pocket…for a little bit of dignity in this world of ours!!
Watch this space!!