“Start writiing” she said to me as we parted. What did she mean by these 2 simple words. How was I to really start writing now when all along I thought that I had been…wriiting. People have been scribbling for aeons on anything they can get their hands on…in the sand …on the cave walls…papyros…paper usually came in handy…’Start writing’….wasn’t that what I had been doing these past months, trying to get my message across the bandwidth that we all have grown to love. Words sometimes flowed like a river, an uncontrollable force that had to be let loose. Except I wasn’t a bloody river and my words did not a river make. Was it waffle or a more meaningful diatribe on the flow of my life. Did I bring an intelligent and constructive argument to these pages?
Let me put all this waffle of mine into context….as a way of easing your curiosity. Tonight I took a slight detour after work to attend an information meeting in UCC for mature students with regards to degree courses. I have always wanted to study for a degree in Law…..this has been an ambition of mine for years. The evening law degree course only crops up once every 2 or 3 years so it is a rare appearance for this course and you have to be ready to take it on whenever it does pop up. Seven years ago I did the entrance exam for this course along with 250 other hopefuls but I didn’t make the grade……there are only 80 places so the competition is tough and at the time I wasn’t ready. I was eager but not ready. Eagerness does not cut the mustard when something as tough as this comes along. You have to possess a confident knowledge in your ability to think fast on a subject and to transfer this knowledge to the hand written page in order for it to count.
Do I have what it takes now? I’ve been asking myself these questions of late. What knowledge do I hold in my little bag of tricks that would transfer to the page in order to convince someone that I have the Je ne sais quoi! I don’t know if I have it …it being a general knowledge of all things poltical…world issues….law…the ability to interpret the facts in a quick manner. Thinking back to that entrance exam….my hands were sweating from writing on the page. I hadn’t written like that for nearly ten years…under pressure and with so many people who seemed to have magic fingers that could not be stop. Looking back on it ….what I wrote was a load of waffle…..a lot like now really.
I would love to be able to give my tuppence worth a topic of the day without me veering off into the philosophical every five minutes. I’m extremely adept at the up in the clouds …hows your father kind of stuff but to be able to bluff a few pages on the Iraq war or the State of the Economy for a few pages is a total different kettle!!!
As I stood in the Aula Maxima this evening looking around at the other people looking to further themselves, I asked myself a few questions. Am I really able for this? Do I have the smarts to carry it out? Who was that fella on the wall with the gold chain around his neck? Maybe I would get my potrait up there on the wall someday. I can just see the Irish people giving me one of those standing ovations for being the one to solve all of Irelands problems. For services to the stae and all that. Would I have to start wearing loafers all the time or would I stay the same as always…just a better version of me. Yeah….thats all I want to be….. a newer better version of me….the one that was always expected but never delivered. I’m lucky to be the person who is in the belief that it is never to late to analyse those leafs that were never turned over…left in the cupboard of life for another day. They may be wrinkled and have lost a bit of their green but they can still be turned over whenever you feel like doing so. “Start writing” …she said as if some one else told her to tell me this fact. Maybe she should have said “Start thinking and then write!!”……..So I will have to start my research for the next few months because the next entrance exam for the evening course is in March so watch this space people!!
Its at times like this that I wish I was a sheep!!!